Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Rhetoric & Cumulative Sentences

So, in one of my Rhetoric classes, we are working on Cumulative Sentences and so many of the assignments revolve around crafting sentences with modifiers. To this end, I've formed a few that at least I enjoy, so I thought I'd share a few here...

Also, as a side note, I'm currently working on setting up an "everyday rhetoric" blog called RHETTORIC BUTLER... so, keep an eye out for that. As for the comic strip, I HATE PTS, I was offered a volunteer position with possibility of having the strip appear in issues of The Daily Texan. As for its own outlet digitally, there may be some on this blog, but there will be no steady outlet for it. Apologies, but university is running me ragged.

BOOK UPDATE: Outline finished, as soon as school balances out (in a few weeks), I'll begin headstrongedly on the novel itself. More to come, maybe... I'm not a fan of talking about what I'm working on.

Anyway, on to the sentences!

• Susan lost her eye, a slippery eye, an eye covered in marmalade, marmalade from her sandwich.

• The dog jumped the fence, a fence separating borders, borders at war, a war of land mines.

• Peter likes to paint paintings, paintings of horror, paintings of penguin massacre, penguins thirsty for blood, haunting the nightmares of the local town.

• The chipmunk shot the policeman, a confused policeman, a dangerous chipmunk, a wanted chipmunk, a chipmunk now wanted for murder.

• The poltergeist is back, back for more fun, fun that no one else likes, fun that gets dangerous, a poltergeist whom doesn’t understand personal boundaries.

• The puffin took to the sky, sky of endless blue, a puffin on his way to nirvana, nirvana only found through flying, its wings spread open wide, feathers glistening in the sunlight, its beak bright and cheerful, eyes weeping softly, its final voyage bringing joy to its heart.

• The man hit the woman, swinging his cane wildly, her screams echoing in the night, a night of stillness, a night of humidity, humidity bogging down the screams into mumbles, mumbles of a life once cherished, a life of joy, a life of marital bliss, a husband that once loved his wife, a husband now turned savage, his age destroying his mind, a mind once sharp now angry, an anger of stolen youth, knowing his wife to be the blame, his gentle wife, his caring wife, his wife now filled with fear and regret, her eyes filled with the loss of love his mother once had, his mother who loved him, his mother who left, his mother forced out by a man, a man as savage as he is now, a man who was his father, a circle that will never be broken.
(This was an attempt to see how far I could take a very simple beginning and modify it into a full and rich story which takes place in the moment when their eyes meet)

1 comment:

Brian said...

Clever sentences. Joan Didion is the master of this style of writing, of writing in general, generally speaking. You owe it to yourself to get a copy of "Slouching Towards Bethlehem" or "The White Album."