Comedy Rules & Prompts

The main rule that I learned in my sketch class @ Second City:

BUILD THE ROLLERCOASTER and LET IT RIDE
• First three lines:
o Who
o Where
o What


And now, some freeform prompts. We were shown objects and words and then given a few minutes to write on it. Enjoy.

PROMPT ONE: Diet Coke Can
My Principal once got aspertaine poisoning from Diet Coke and not only became gravely ill, but was almost entirely incapacitated at one point. Odd that something DIET that’s supposed to help you be HEALTHY could potentially kill you. I also don’t get the deal of diet soda. Meeting health halfway seems kind of like a half-ass attempt. Either be healthy or don’t, but trying to trick yourself is like setting your watch 10 minutes early. In really big crunches, you still know that your watch is ten minutes fast and will always end up playing with that time and STILL being late. It always ends up coming back and biting you. I’m reminded of Yoda. There is no try or try not, there is only do and do not.

PROMPT TWO: Wrinkled Khakis and One White Sock
I don’t understand the point of having a pair of nice pants rolled up in your backpack for later when you have a business meeting or a nice dinner. They end up getting horribly wrinkled and then, instead of just looking inconsiderate in shorts or casual pants, you look messy and unprepared in wrinkled pants. Also, white socks. I’m starting to get really annoyed by white socks. Unless you’re wearing brown or white shoes, there’s really no point to them. Too many people wear them with black shoes and it looks disgusting. Like, revolting. With sandals, they’re even worse, but that’s a whole thing of its own.

PROMPT THREE: Sabbatical
So, if a Rabbi was to not take a sabbatical on the Sabbath, would the universe implode or explode? My theory is implode and simply because it seems A) less messy and B) more realistic considering that were a Rabbi not to, the weight of that decision would, more than likely create some sort of hypothetical freedom-of-choice black hole which would suck the rest of the universe into it. Because, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that black holes can be created by free choice. Or, that’s what they tell me.

PROMPT FOUR: “Juleauxs”
I have sort of a love-hate relationship with the whole “eauxs” thing. While it makes sense, is different, and sounds very nice, it’s ultimately overused, confusing, and goes against basic teaching in English. Now, I know, it’s French. But, as a native English speaker, I’m used to things fitting into my categories, and this conundrum just creates initial problems. The same way that buses is first pronounced as “byuses” in my head.