My Nabokov Love Letter to Sarah Shade

For my Rhetoric class, we had to do a personal ad for one of our friends in the style of an author. Mine was Nabokov.

Enjoy:


Sarah Shade – Sa Rah: Seraphim of milky sweet desire. Milky sweet as her alabaster skin. Sa Rah: Goddess of the Sun and the World and the People and their Hearts beating one-two, one-two, one-two in rhythm with her beauty– eternal. Sarah Shade: Mistress of Shade – Lady of Shade – Shady Lady: forever basking in the warming glow of shade, retreating forever from the glare of sun. Sarah to those who know of her, Shade to those her know her, Shady Lady to those who love her. Sarah Shade: such imperfect alliteration from such a perfect goddess springs forth cries of injustice– that such an angel, such a Sarahphim should have been shortsheeted. Shortsheeted– sheets, white and pure as her ethereal skin. My heart grows blue at the thought of losing her– as blue as her eyes, sparking and shimmering beneath the darkness of the shade in which she rests¬– waiting. This Lady, this Queen, this Empress of my heart and the heart of everyone she touches since the inauguration of her reign as many years ago as when the world began to love her– at birth. The Holy Angels cried out as she did, for she had come and the World was never ready for such beauty, such grace, such majesty, such desire as Sarah Shade. Sarah. Shade. Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I present to you Exhibit A: Sarah Shade. If your heart is a flutter, you know you’ll never find another– like Sarah Shade. Her goldenrod hair shines so brightly that you will never see the halo above her head, the halo that makes Kings weep and gods tremble. She is vulnerable and strong, gentle and overbearing, silent and deafening. Behold this mistress of malicious, yet magnetically magnificent majesty.

*Commence cigarettes*