1. Isism – The use of “is” and passive voice when updating a social networking website, regardless of whether your name actually comes before the sentence or not.
“Cody Melcher is loving James Joyce!”
2. Vocationaldestroyer – The use of a picture on your social networking profile, which is so damaging that no professional employer will ever pretend to even know your name.
“Cody Melcher? You mean the kid with the lampshade on his head?”
3. JKitis – When using sarcasm, due to the lack of a sarcasm text, the user will consistently put “JK” (Just Kidding) at the end of their message as to not directly offend the other person. Conversely, someone saying something offensive will often put “JK” at the end of their message to allow their insult to pass unnoticed.
“You’re a whore, JK.”
4. Awkwardlulz – When in online conversation, the user will put “lol” or “haha” when there is an awkward pause due to decline in actual conversation topic.
“And that’s how I learned to pickle an egg.” – “lol”
5. Toocoolforschool – The use of one’s social networking site to state how much one does not “fall in” with the masses and actually abhors social networking sites.
“About Me: I don’t like Facespace, just Email me if you want to talk.”
6. Openbookanism – Converse to “Toocoolforschool”, Openbookanism is the use of one’s social networking site to describe, in a complete and thorough manner, everything anyone would ever need to know about you, thus making actual conversation pointless.
“Oh, hey, I love Harry Potter, too.” – “I know, I saw it on your Facespace page under your middle name and story about your nonmalignant tumor.”
7. Cryforhelping – Posting depressing lyrics and/or commentary about your life for the obvious intent of having other people feel sorry for you and feed your ego.
“Cody Melcher is lost on a sea of sadness with no friends that care about him, think he’s cool, or would like to invite him to that party that’s going on tomorrow at Lindsey’s house.”
8. Hipbyassociation – Usage of random “cool” song lyrics by “hip” bands and songwriters which, when out of context, either make no sense or have nothing to do with you, but are used for the sheer purpose of appearing “unique” or “interesting”. Similar to cryforhelping.
“No place to hang out our washing. And I can't blame all on the sun, oh no. - EA”
9. Inappropriation – The discussion of inappropriate or intimate topics in public on social networking sites/blogs.
“Oh noes, my grandma died! RIP granny. :(”
10. Emotopunctuation - The usage of emoticons as punctuation to get the physical point across in conversation as to not be misconstrued.
“Lulz, my grandma came back from the dead :)”
11. Heylookatmyboobsing – When a girl crops the profile picture of her social networking page as to leave no doubts over her gender.
“Woah, I didn’t know Susie had a shirt that went that low.”
12. Iminloveandyournotia – When a new couple gets together and decides to change their profile pictures to be matching pictures of them kissing / holding hands / naked and in bed together. This is to prove to anyone that they are, in fact, in a relationship lest someone think that the constant status updates are a ruse.
“Oh, look at that, Robert and Janet are in a relationship, if only I could tell their profiles apart…”
13. Imgayning – Most forms of Imgayning can also be considered Iminloveandyournotia, however, the difference is, when a gay couple does it, it’s a massive political statement used to destroy societal norms, unlike when straight couples do it to be “adorable”.
“Wow, Robert left Janet for James and now they’re totally deconstructing my heteronormative metanarratives… I’m offended.”
14. “Randomquotation” – The misuse of “quotation marks” on social networking sites in the same capacity as the misuse of air quotes in real life, to emphasize with no actual need to use quotation marks.
“I feel ‘terrible’.”
15. Notbragging – Writing statuses and posts on social networking sites about achievements or how awesome you are without outright stating it, thus allowing the ability to subliminally brag about yourself.
“Cody Melcher was just told he’s the best student in the class by his professor. Yay!”
16. Passiveagressivepublicity – The use of public status updates or posts in order to make a point, harass or otherwise defame another user of the same social networking site because they will obviously see it.
“Cody Melcher is sorry that you can’t get over yourself.”
17. Likefriendliness – Using the “Like” ability in order to show that you still care about a person without having to be fully invested enough to actually have something to say about their life.
18. Passiveagressiveliking – Using the “Like” ability on friends’ negative self-deprecating status updates or posts in order to say that you agree with their low assessment of their life.
“Cody Melcher’s life sucks.” – “Jay Thomas likes this.”
19. Egotripping – Finding any excuse to create a Fan Page for yourself in order to enumerate how many of your friends are actually your fans.
“Cody Melcher suggests you become a fan of Cody Melcher.”
20. Publicguilttripping – Using status updates and posts on your social networking profile in order to guilt your friends into caring about you, your events or your likes.
“Cody Melcher would love you forever if you came and saw his show. His REAL friends will be there!”
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment